So over the last year I have had lots of firsts in my new life here in the USA. But there is one day in my past that if it hadn’t had happened my new life here would never have been able to take place. I am talking about the day my divorce got signed off and finalised.
I am no stranger to long drawn out processes because my divorce took over 5 years to finalise from the time we started the process to that day in November, 2009. I am in the middle of another process that can take up to 4, or maybe 5 years to complete. My USA visa/citizenship process has already taken nearly 18 months and the process isn’t quite half way through yet.
But back to my divorce, I think I have mentioned in a previous post, that my first marriage in Ireland ended in the early 2000’s but in Ireland divorce isn’t easy or quick unless you have lots of money to bypass the system. So after 5 long years, a drawn out and a needlessly expensive process, the divorce was finalised but the process will continue to have an effect on things I do for another 4 or so years due to arrangements enforced within the divorce agreement. Funny title that, divorce agreement. It was more a judge made a decision which I had really no choice but to accept.
I went through some very low times during the 5 years it took to get the divorce final and it was only because of support of family and friends that I came out stronger and better on the far side. It’s an emotional Rollercoaster, a financial black hole and just not a nice process.
But things are so much better now. I am happily married to the most wonderful woman in the world. I learnt some great lessons from the whole divorce, first marriage and the journey I took over the years from the early 2000’s to now. Thst journey has definitely made me a better and more rounded person even if at the time I didn’t recognise it. So really what doesn’t break you, really does make you stronger. And not only that, but it has made me happier.
There is another anniversary this weekend, on November 20th 1987, yes 29 years ago, I entered Cathal Brugha Barracks in Dublin and signed on the dotted line to begin my 23 year career in the Irish Defence Forces. So these 2 dates in November will always hold a special significance for me and both for reasons that helped shape who I am today.